I Can't Die Like This
by BellTorVia
Summary: Oneshot. Pre-series. In a life or death situation, Sam finds himself praying for a savior, will that person come? And what will he do after rethinking his hunting career.


It was supposed to be an ordinary hunt. One that John, Dean, and Sam have done many times. This was literally a textbook, step by step, hunt. That's why Sam was more shocked than anything when, after being separated from his father and brother, he found himself facing impending death.

Sam knew that by the time his father and brother noticed he was gone and came looking for him, he would be dead. He was angry at himself for letting this happen. He should have been more cautious and alert.

Sam knew it was only a matter of time before the creature came back to finish him off. The very thought made Sam feel something he never really felt before.

Despite being seventeen years old Sam didn't have many fears. When he was a kid he feared a lot of things, but if you lived the life he did, you would soon realize that fear was a weakness.

Sam had faced creatures that would make a grown man cry, yet Sam would hardly blink an eye if he had to chop their head off, burn a dead man's bones, or shoot them with a silver bullet.

No, Sam wasn't scared of any creatures even the one who trapped him. So Sam couldn't quite figure out what he was feeling then.

It wasn't like he never got into a sticky situation, because he has. However, there was always hope that he would either escape himself or his father and brother would save him. Try as he might Sam knew unless someone came to help him, he was not getting out of this one. Perhaps it was the fact that maybe his father and brother might not be able to find his body after he was gone that disturbed him.

No, Sam realized there was nothing on Earth that would make his brother Dean not find his body. Sam knew that Dean would dedicate his life to give Sam a proper burial if he were to die. Besides, why would Sam care if his body was found after he died? He wanted to be found now!

That was it.

Sam didn't want to die. Of course nobody wants to die and nobody would want to die the way Sam would, but Sam realized he didn't want to die _like this._

Really though, what has he actually done? He's spent his whole life doing nothing besides hunting and taking orders. When was the last time he did something he wanted to do? Sure he has rebelled here and there, but nothing grandiose. What did he like doing anyways? What was he good at?

School. Sam was good in school. School was the only place that Sam can be himself. He didn't have his brother over his shoulder and he certainly didn't have his father there to judge his every move. Sam loved learning; he always wanted to know more than what the teachers taught. But thinking about it now, in the situation he was in, what good was school? Why continue his education? It couldn't exactly help him if he was fighting a werewolf, or a ghost, now would it? Why should he even care?

Time was running out and Sam knew his chances of being saved were not looking so good. His heart was pounding so loud, it was making him unable to hear anything, besides the blood circulating through his body. Blood was rushing to his head because he was hanging upside down. He was frantically looking around and making last ditch efforts to escape. Suddenly he thought...

_I CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS_

Sam didn't want to die a hunter. To be honest he hated hunting. He hated having to kill any creature whether it was good or bad. The one thing he hated most was what it did to his family. His father was obsessed, that much was obvious. He hated that his father would just leave to go hunting and leave his brother and him. He hated his father's secrets and lies. He hated the way Dean changed when they were hunting. Most of all he hated himself when he was hunting.

Sam didn't have a lot of expectations in himself. No one really had any high expectations of him, besides maybe his brother, but Dean was always a bit like that. Dean was the perfect brother and son. He always took care of Sam, putting Sam's needs first. He always followed their fathers orders and rarely complained about the way they lived. Dean was definitely their father's son.

Sam loved Dean, but Dean was also a hunter. He enjoyed it more than Sam did for sure. That's why as Sam was basically waiting to be killed by some creature, he realized he didn't want to die as a hunter. Why would he?

Sam wanted more than just this, he didn't know exactly what he wanted but he definitely wanted more than what he was.

Tears streaming fast now, he couldn't help but wish he could at least say bye to his father and brother. Despite everything, they were his family after all. They were all probably messed up in someway but it doesn't matter; he was going to die.

***CRUNCH***

Sam's head immediately snapped towards the direction. It was hard of course knowing where it came from, since all he could hear was the blood pounding in his head.

With nothing left to do, he prayed. Sam couldn't remember the last time he prayed but he was doing it now.

"Dear God, please help me get out of this. Please don't have me die like this. I promise I will do anything. I will, I will do something better. I will get out of being a hunter. I will do what I'm supposed to do, no matter what."

With that Sam, quickly said an amen to his rushed prayer, and hoped for the best. He could hear the creature, it wasn't too far now. If only...

Then what could only be described as music to his ears. Sam quickly opened his eyes and smiled at what he saw. Dean was fighting the creature off. Dean knocked the creature over and quickly jumped on it and stabbed it in its head. Seconds passed as Dean slowly got up. He turned to Sam with a worried expression and rushed to help Sam.

"Sammy, you okay?" Dean asked as he was helping Sam get down, who was tied up by his feet hanging upside down.

"Yeah, I think so." Sam responded before the ties on his feet were loosened and Sam was heading straight for the ground.

"Relax, I got you." Dean said as he pulled Sam to his feet.

"How did you find me?" Sam blurted out. He couldn't believe that Dean found him, and just in the niche of time. Sam was certain he was going to die.

"I don't know. Dad and I didn't even think you were missing. He thought maybe you went back to the car. Then dad thought we should split up. I wasn't even going to come this way but..."

"But what?" Sam urged Dean on.

"I don't really know, I thought I saw something." Dean shrugged. By now both boys were making their way out of the cave they were in.

"You mean you saw the creature come over here." Sam pressed Dean for a clear answer.

"Maybe, it didn't look like it though. Anyways it doesn't matter. I saved your ass which means you owe me." Dean nudged Sam.

"Whatever." Sam mumbled. He couldn't help wonder, though, what led Dean to him. Did his prayer actually work? Sam wasn't really sure with all this adrenaline running through his body, but he swore in that moment he would always say a thankful prayer everyday.

*Two days later*

Sam was packing up his bags once again. They would have left yesterday but it turned out Sam was too sore to even get out of bed. It wasn't much better today for Sam but at least he could get out of bed.

"Hey! Sammy, you ready?" Dean yelled out from the impala.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Sam shouted back. Just before he was about to walk out of the motel, Sam noticed something under the table. He walked towards the table and reached down to pick it up. It was a brochure. Flipping it around Sam saw the "S" with the tree in front of it.

A Stanford University brochure, what was it doing there? How did it get there? Looking around the room for any clues, Sam found nothing. He looked back at it again; he was about to open it when he heard the impala's honk.

Oh well, Sam thought, he knew he would have plenty of time to look through it later. He quickly put the Stanford brochure in his bag and walked out of the room.


End file.
